Tonight I had the privilege of having dinner with five guys that I’ve called friends for quite some time. It was a good dinner, my favorite restaurant, and just a relaxing evening over all. As we started to leave, rain began falling and we all rushed to our vehicle to avoid getting wet. Normal reaction I suppose.

As I started to pull away from Texas Roadhouse the sky lit up with different shades of blue and green and thunder shortly followed. I actually smiled and got excited that we were having our first real thunderstorm! I can’t explain it, but I’ve just always enjoyed sitting outside on my balcony, excluding myself from the world and sitting in the presence of God during thunderstorms! 

Tonight was different though. Making my way over the Buchman bridge singing Shawn McDonald as loud as possible and laughing at people driving in the rain with their flashers on… The faces of those I met in Haiti started to come to mind. The children that fear the rain. The parents who wish they could protect those same children. The sickness and disease that’s starting to spread as water flows between the cracks of rubble, over the remains of those bodies still trapped and into the streets where people are now sleeping brought my laughter to an abrupt halt.

I started to tear up. I thought about how many people are sleeping under nothing but a canopy of clouds and stars. Not just in Haiti, but in our own backyard. The homeless. The less fortunate. Those with no roof. How many people, that as I get pissed off at the people driving slow in front of me, are praying that the rain stop falling so they can remain dry. I don’t think rain will always make me cry, but it will definitely always make me think. So many of us are so blessed while others are living in extreme poverty. Their hopes and dreams of one day having the life that we may or may not take for granted… is all they have.

So with that in mind; “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again; Rejoice!” Philippians 4:4

I was in Haiti for 12 days. I’ve been home for 8 days.  I’ve been pissed off. Happy.  Sad.  Sleepless. Confident.  Curious.  Thankful I was able to go and help but at moments, can’t think about anything else but going back.  Before leaving the comfort of my home, my day to day living and heading to Haiti, I was told it would change my life.  So I expected to come back different, just didn’t know what different would look like.

After twelve days of traveling to Haiti, helping Haiti, hurting with Haiti and loving Haiti, I now have a better definition of different because of Haiti, but feel each day I’m learning more and more.  As a team we united a family, provided food, medical care, prayed for people, baptized people and even helped build walls and set up make shift tents.  In twelve days Jesus Christ used us in ways we never anticipated.  Therefore exposing us to things that only He knew we would see.  Those things changed my heart!

For the first time I’ve experienced true poverty.  I’ve walked through a third world country.  I’ve seen unimaginable destruction and have had to experience death in ways I never thought I would.  I feel like all of this impacted my life, yes, but it was the love that flooded the streets that made things different. It was the Haitian people smiling.  People holding hands.  Children playing.  People going back to work and people helping their neighbors.  Haitians offering to help us in any way possible! More than anything, seeing Haiti’s hope in Jesus Christ only days after the very little they had, was lost as the world they knew fell to the ground around them… changed my life. Changed my entire thought process.  Literally made my heart different.

I feel like I have so much to be thankful for.  That I should smile more. Hold hands more.  Invest into the lives of children more. Help my neighbors and do everything I can to love what I live.  No matter where I am, No matter who I’m with… to let others see how different my heart is!  I feel like if God allowed me to experience everything I did, and I don’t live a life full of love so that others can see how different He has made my heart, I’m disrespecting Haiti.  I’m selling short the people in my life.  I’m not letting others see who Jesus Christ is to me.  I never thought of it that way before I went to Haiti.  Before I saw everything I did.  So with a few more blogs planned about our trip to Haiti, I felt this one needed to be first.  That everyone getting ready to read about each day, about the lessons learned as a leader and our future plans to help Haiti, knows that everything we just did was based around the will of God. That because of His plans, my heart is different.